11 Ways to Better Yourself
Do you desire to develop as a person and improve your life?
For me, it is something that I strive towards constantly. Every day, I aspire to be better than the day before.
While I can’t speak for others, I do know many people who wish to improve their lives in some way. And the fact that you are reading this right now tells me that you are one of those people!
On my personal development journey these past few years, I have significantly grown as a person and cultivated a positive mindset. In doing so, my life has improved, as well as my relationship with others, most importantly, my kids.
Even though I have had more than a few setbacks along the way (which is inevitable in this life), I used whatever challenge I was facing as an opportunity to learn and continue to grow.
I have learned that we have the power to choose to be a victim of our circumstances or to change how we perceive the events happening around us.
We can choose to accept what is, look for the positive, learn from it, and take the necessary steps to improve and grow as a person.
Noone can change your life, except for you. You are the only one who has the power to make changes within yourself and be better.
If you’ve spent most of your life like I have, with low self-worth and a victim mentality, it will take some time and consistency. However, given that I have spent over 30 years living that way and, in just a few short years, have been able to transform my life, it’s undoubtedly possible—and worth the effort.
I wholeheartedly believe that if I can do it, you can too!
As long as you have the desire and you work towards doing something positive to better yourself every day, you will get there. Small steps every day lead to significant results!
No matter how you’ve lived your life thus far, if you’re looking for ways to improve your life and better yourself in any way, shape, or form, look no further…
Here are 11 ways to improve your life and become your best self.
1. Cultivate a Positive Mindset
The first and most important aspect of improving your life is a positive mindset.
I remember a statement that said, “You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind.” And that is, as a matter of fact, very true.
How can we feel pure joy and gratitude if we are bombarded with negative thoughts and possess a scarcity mindset? How can we develop positive thoughts when we’ve been predisposed to negative thoughts for far too long?
I will tell you! The first step to overcoming negative thinking is to understand how your mind works.
In simple terms, our brain is hardwired with a survival mechanism called negativity bias. This means our brains detect threats and pay more attention to negative experiences than positive ones as a means to protect us.
Although our brain is wired to produce negative thoughts, it’s also changeable. Thanks to neuroplasticity, we can train our brains to think differently.
We can’t control every thought that pops into our minds, but we can control how we react to it. Our thoughts influence how we interpret experiences, how we feel, how we act, and how we connect with others. In essence, the way we think filters how we experience the world.
Two people can go through the exact same situation and come out with completely different perceptions — because their internal narratives shaped how they saw and responded to it.
Our mindset determines the quality of our life.
When I first began researching how our mindset affects our daily lives, I stumbled across (many times) the Law of Attraction.
It basically states that like attracts like. And since our thoughts and emotions emit a vibrational frequency (just as everything in the universe does), that frequency attracts experiences of the same frequency into our lives.
I go into more detail about vibrational frequencies and their effect on our lives in How to Raise Your Vibrational Frequency.
While there is no scientific evidence to prove this, I can say without hesitation, from my own experience, that our thoughts and emotions DO determine the quality of our lives.
With that said, if we want to improve the quality of our lives and have positive experiences, we first need to cultivate optimistic, uplifting thoughts, which, over time, lead to a positive default mindset.
If your default state has been a negative mindset, it will take hard work and patience.
For myself, I started using positive affirmations daily; in fact, I still do. I also read and listened to many books (on my Audible app, which made it very convenient).
Here is a list of my favorite books (in no specific order) that helped me with my mindset..
- “Don’t Believe Everything You Think.” by Joseph Nguyen
- “Good Vibes, Good Life” by Vex King
- “You Are A Badass” by Jen Sincero
- “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Dr. Joseph Murphy
- “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay
Thoughts are just thoughts, plain and simple. They are not facts. They’re mental events, shaped by your biology, your past, and your environment.
-When a negative thought arises, don’t get swept up in it, pause, and observe. Label the thought as just a thought. You are not the thought.
Question the thought and ask:
Is this thought 100% true?
What’s the evidence for and against it?
What would I say to a friend thinking this?
Our brain might naturally focus on problems, but we can also train it to notice what’s going well by practicing gratitude (which I will discuss more later!)
We don’t experience the world as it is — we experience it as we are.
- If we believe people are generally kind, we’ll see acts of kindness more easily — and feel more connected to others.
- If we believe the world is dangerous, we’ll constantly be on guard, interpreting even neutral events as threats.
This isn’t to say one view is “right” — it’s to show that our internal mindset plays a huge role in shaping our external experience.
In other words, our thoughts create the mental architecture we live in.
We don’t have to control every thought. We have to be aware and choose deliberately which ones we build our reality around.
2. Prioritize Self-Care
There are many forms of self-care, and it just so happens that a few things on my list are forms of self-care. But two forms of self-care I really want to emphasize here are exercise and sleep.
Exercise has numerous benefits for our mental and physical well-being. One benefit of exercise is that it can reduce negative emotions.
When we exercise, it stimulates the production of endorphins and serotonin, which are known as “feel-good” chemicals. These chemicals improve our mood and reduce stress, creating feelings of happiness and calm.
With a long list of “to-dos” and our work schedules (or even juggling three kids like me), exercise can sometimes get put on the back burner.
Now, I’m not saying these other things aren’t a priority, but I am saying that exercise should be a priority too.
I am guilty of missing a few days here and there, but I notice that when I miss multiple days in a row, my energy takes a hit.
I find that waking up earlier to get a workout in helps me start my day off on the right foot.
That doesn’t mean you need to do some crazy, intense workout to feel the benefits. Surely, it is good to have a few days a week when you up the intensity, but it will still benefit you to get ten, fifteen, or twenty minutes of a low-to-moderate workout every day.
Even simple floor exercises like push-ups, planks, and bridges are better than not doing anything. Yoga and going for daily walks in nature are excellent for your mental and physical health.
Daily exercise is also conducive to a good night’s sleep, which is an essential form of self-care.
Sleep is crucial for us to function effectively. Just as food, water, and air are essential for our overall health, adequate sleep is equally important.
Quality sleep improves our mood and boosts our energy. When we get a good night’s sleep, we feel more alert and better able to take on the day.
I have recently noticed that when I don’t get a good night’s sleep, typically less than six hours, I feel the effects for days. My energy is low, I am not as upbeat as usual, and my brain seems to be in some sort of fog. It usually takes me a day to put other things aside and rest my eyes for hours, and ensure I get plenty of sleep that night.
Some individuals function just fine on five or six hours of sleep. However, experts agree that 7 to 8 hours of sleep is required to stay healthy.
Having a bedtime routine can help induce a good night’s sleep. You can try stretching, reading, journaling, meditating, and even shutting off electronics at least an hour before you lie down to sleep.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment without judgement. It’s the practice of being aware of what’s happening right now- in your body, your thoughts, and your surroundings.
Why does mindfulness matter? According to research, a regular mindfulness practice can lead to numerous benefits for both mental and physical health.
When you consistently bring mindfulness into your daily life, you will begin to notice subtle shifts. A calmer mind, a more compassionate outlook, and a deeper appreciation for life’s small moments.
You can practice mindfulness every day by paying attention to the sounds, smells, sensations, and activities that are happening around you.
For example, when washing dishes or taking a shower, notice the scent of the soap, the texture of the bubbles, and the sensation of warm or cold water on your skin.
If you’re eating, be aware of how the food feels and tastes, and really savor every bite.
When someone is talking to you, are you truly listening to what they are saying? Or are you thinking about what you’re going to say next?
For me, it’s usually the latter. Being mindful when I am in conversation with someone is a practice I need to apply more often.
We are the happiest when we are mindful and present in our everyday activities, rather than worrying or thinking.
Meditation is a powerful mindfulness practice that has changed my life.
The benefits of meditation are profound.
Since I started meditation, it has become a constant staple in my morning routine. It has had a significant impact on my mind, helping me to find peace and solutions to challenges.
Adding meditation to your daily routine, even for just five minutes, is an assured way to improve your life.
If you’d like to read more about meditation and how it changed my life, you can do that here.
4. Eat Nutritious Foods and Hydrate with Water
We’ve all heard the saying, “You are what you eat.” And there is some truth to that.
While we won’t actually become what we eat (that is obviously outlandish), we will feel the effects of it.
When you eat so-called “crap” foods that are processed and have no nutritional value, you will feel like crap. On the other hand, if you eat nutrient-dense, minimally processed foods a majority of the time, you will feel your best, and it will lead to better mental and physical health.
That doesn’t mean you can never have dessert or indulge ever again. It simply means being mindful and consuming those foods that are lacking in nutrients in moderation.
I want to emphasize the importance of eating a well-balanced diet. I have spent well over 30 years mindlessly eating whatever I want ( it was rarely the healthy stuff), and my mental health suffered because of it.
It wasn’t until I started eating better and really paying attention to how certain foods made me feel that I realized how much of an impact the foods I consume have on my mental and physical state.
If we want to feel and be our best, we must fuel our bodies with wholesome, nutritious foods.
Staying hydrated with water throughout the day is another essential factor in feeling and being our best.
It is recommended that we drink 6-8 glasses of water per day. At times or with specific individuals, more may be required to stay hydrated.
Not drinking enough water throughout the day can negatively impact your mood, energy, and overall well-being, among other things. I feel the effects of this if I haven’t been keeping up with my water intake.
Carrying a water bottle with you throughout the day can help ensure you are getting your recommended daily intake.
Make a conscious effort to keep hydrated and get your share of nutritious foods, your mind and body will thank you for it.
5. Protect Your Energy
Your energy—your mental, emotional, and spiritual vitality—is up to you to safeguard. When it’s drained, everything feels heavier. But when it’s protected, life flows more easily, and you show up as your best self.
Factors such as news, social media, world events, and chronic complainers can have a significant impact on your energy. To protect your energy and avoid the negative effects of toxic people or situations, be mindful of what you consume and with whom you spend your free time.
Content that empowers you or brings about feelings of joy, love, and happiness is ideal for maintaining positive energy.
It would be beneficial to limit your time on social media if it’s something that drains your energy. The news can also tend to be a place where we are being bombarded with one bad thing after another. I find it very depressing; therefore, I don’t watch the news or get sucked into the drama people on social media thrive off of.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch the news or spend time on social media. What I am saying is that limiting it can protect your peace. When we disconnect from all the noise and chaos, we can then reconnect with our inner calm.
Set clear boundaries; it’s okay to say “no” when something feels draining or misaligned.
Distance yourself emotionally or physically from people who have a negative effect on your energy. Spend time with those who uplift, inspire, and challenge you in healthy ways.
Energy is contagious; choose wisely whose energy you allow into your life.
6. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the easiest, most impactful ways to improve your life. In fact, practicing gratitude daily actually changes your brain.
With consistent gratitude practices, over time, it rewires your brain for a more positive outlook and a more profound sense of fulfillment.
Gratitude also has a positive effect on mental and physical health by reducing stress and anxiety. At the same time, it can also foster positive social interactions, leading to stronger relationships with others.
We can often get caught up in all the things going wrong in our lives and what we are lacking. However, with a daily gratitude practice, we can refocus our attention on all the good things in our lives and the abundance that surrounds us.
While it is important always to say “thank you” to any act of kindness from others, making a daily gratitude list is a powerful way to cultivate a positive mindset.
Your list can be anything that entails feelings of gratitude or appreciation. Things such as compliments or positive experiences throughout the day, possessions, people in your life, and even just having a good day.
I like to write my gratitude list at the end of the day, just before I go to sleep. Doing so helps me see all the abundance in my life, and leaves me feeling happy and content as I drift off to sleep.
Living with gratitude every day is so transformative. It is completely normal to lose sight of all the positive things in our lives when we are overwhelmed by daily stressors or the actions of others.
When this happens, we can refocus our attention on gratitude with daily gratitude practices. You can read about the six daily gratitude practices I use to live with gratitude every day here.
7. Limit Complaining
Yes, we need to limit our complaining or stop altogether if we want to improve our lives.
It is natural for us to complain; in fact, we do it so much that half the time we don’t even realize we’re doing it.
When we complain about our day, events, or people around us, we focus on the negative and stir up unpleasant emotions.
Instead, we need to see things for what they are, accept what they are, and look for and then focus on the good.
We can’t always control things happening around us. The only thing we can control is how we react to these things.
When you notice a complaint coming up, pause and instead of expressing it, focus on gratitude.
You will be amazed at how much better you feel when you stop complaining and focus on what you can control. You are in control of how you think about and react to situations; everything else ‘is what it is.’
8. Create a Routine
Many people underestimate the powerful benefits of a morning and evening routine.
Creating a routine can increase productivity and ease your morning or evening.
Finding a morning routine that benefits you and your goals will help you start your day with positivity and a sense of accomplishment.
Just think how much better you will feel when you’ve completed your most important tasks before lunchtime!
I know that for me, whenever my morning routine is thrown off by something unexpected (or me sleeping in and being lazy), the rest of my day feels rushed and less productive.
Likewise, when I neglect my evening routine and don’t get a good night’s sleep, I feel the effects the next day.
I find that adding self-care to my morning routine boosts my mood and sets my day off on the right foot.
Things like drinking water to replenish after a long night’s sleep, meditating, stretching or working out, and listening to motivational books or uplifting music are part of my morning routine.
At night, I try to get in a few minutes of stretching. Once I get into bed, I write my gratitude list and then read for a little while, if I’m not already dozing off- which I usually am after a page or two.
Your routine can consist of anything you feel is vital to help you have a positive morning and restful nights’ sleep.
Whatever you decide, adding it to your routine will assure you are consistent, and consistency is essential if you want to see the benefits!
9. Learn Something New, Every Day
We are constantly evolving, as is the world we live in.
Every day, there is some new technology made available to us and breakthroughs or life-changing events happening around the world.
It makes sense that we should evolve along with the world we live in. And for us to evolve and grow, we need to learn.
Learning something new about yourself is essential to becoming a better version of yourself.
Learn about ways to improve areas of your life that may be holding you back from your personal or professional growth.
It would also benefit you to learn more about your interests or anything you think may be of service to you in the future.
Your mind is your most powerful weapon, so load it with wisdom and expertise.
10. Be Kind to Yourself and Others
How we speak to ourselves, treat ourselves, and forgive ourselves shapes the way we interact with everyone around us. And ultimately, it shapes our entire experience of life.
We usually think of kindness as something we give to others, but its effects begin within.
Being kind to yourself creates a stable inner foundation.
When you stop punishing yourself for imperfections, you create space for honest self-reflection and real improvement.
Instead of attacking yourself for every mistake, learn to support yourself through challenges. This doesn’t mean ignoring flaws or lowering standards. It means acknowledging you’re human.
Self-kindness isn’t letting yourself off the hook or avoiding responsibility. It’s choosing to treat yourself with the same patience, gentleness, and understanding you naturally offer people you care about.
Speak to yourself as you would to a friend.
Being kind to yourself gives you the strength to be kind to others. Being kind to others gives your life meaning and connection.
Your kindness influences how others behave. It sets a tone. It encourages reciprocity. A single thoughtful action can change the emotional climate of a room.
You have the power to make someone’s life a little better. Even a small gesture can go a long way.
Always choose to be kind and compassionate toward others. You never know what someone may be going through, and your kindness may be just what they need to feel better.
Kindness is contagious—and you become part of that ripple effect every time you choose it.
11. Take Small Steps Every Day Towards Your Goals
I have so many goals and plans for my future, and none of them are going to happen overnight. But I remain focused and determined, and I know that when the time is right, I will get there.
It can be hard to stay on track with your goals when you have people who don’t believe in you. It’s even harder when it’s the people who know you best and mean the most to you.
While this can be discouraging, it should also be motivating. Feel motivated to prove them wrong. Feel motivated to achieve your goals because you believe in yourself and you know it’s possible.
You will have setbacks, you will face uphill battles, and sometimes, you will fail. I have failed over and over again. Despite my failures, I continue to push forward and learn from my mistakes so I do not repeat them.
So take small steps every day towards your goal, and don’t let your mistakes or others’ doubts set you back.
If you are determined, take actionable steps, and believe in yourself, you are guaranteed success.
Don’t ever give up on your dreams. After all, they’re your dreams, no one else’s. So if they don’t believe in them, it doesn’t matter.
Just imagine how empowering it will feel when you’ve achieved your goals and your dreams are your reality, and those people who didn’t believe in you will never doubt you again.
Always believe in yourself and take steps every day to improve your life. You have the power to change your life, to become better than the day before, and to live the life of your dreams.
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